Choices
by VanishRain
Summary: It was six years in the making; but as his hollow eyes gazed longingly into hers, she knew the choice had already been made.
1. You Were Everything to Me

Chapter One: You Were Everything to Me

Brennan could feel her heart slowly sink into her stomach as the last few utterances of her partner sliced her down to the core. He was the one that always believed in love and in them, he had proved it time and time again, but that was before and this was now.

He was no longer the man that had been in love with her for the last six years; this man was a shattered, figment of that man. This man was filled with bitterness and revenge. Yet Brennan couldn't help but let herself fall into his love's deathly grasp once more. With every shallow breath and longing gaze, she knew in the end there was only hope and him.

"Those are my only choices?" Brennan's voice cracked as her heart slammed in her chest. "The only ones?" She murmured once more, hoping this was all just a nightmare and in the morning she would wake up and they would be how they always been, not this hell an outsider had created by destroying a heart that was never hers to take.

This was not how it was supposed to end; he was supposed to come running to her, not some empty bottle and a no-name barkeep. But there the determined anthropologist sat, willing the tears not to flow as the soft words of a bitter man barraged what little emotion she had left.

"Yep." Booth slurred, his halfcocked grin still firmly in place. "The only ones."

With a deep inhale Brennan's eyes finally fell against her partner for the first time the evening. The shards of his heart lay out before her, always out of reach of her carefully mending fingers. The walls around his heart were closing in around them and if she wasn't careful, Brennan would be the one to pay the cost.

"But… but…" Brennan defiantly stammered, "I made a mistake. We both know I did. What if I…"

"Nope." Booth shrugged as he slammed another shot back, "I gave you the choice, now it is up to you to choose what path you will take."

"But what if I want to take a different path?" Brennan pleaded against all rational, "What if we choose our own destiny instead of these preconceived notions you have of what it has to be. We have the power to change our destiny." Brennan whispered as her hand slowly crept along the bar, "You taught me that, Booth. If I have learned anything at all from you, it is that we as humans have the ability to be more than what we were before, what we were destined to be. We can forge a new destiny if we just…"

"No." Booth growled as his body lashed back in defense of her wandering hands, "Those are the only two cards this old man has to deal. You can take it or leave it."

"So…" Brenan meekly whispered in defeat, "This is it?"

She could feel his mind resisting the urge to soothe the radiating pain dripping from every syllable but the pain filling his heart was much more than she knew he could bear. It was not as though he had not tried night after night to push back the tears brimming, but there is only so much you can do to soothe a broken heart that had not been yours for so long.

"If you want it to be." His voice shook in defeat, knowing this could be the end of the one thing he had managed to do right.

And there it was, her worse fear laid out in the open. He was giving up on all they had because of words she had never spoken. A deed she had never done was all that stood in-between her and the happiness her heart knew she deserved. She knew she loved him now but that would be all in vain if he would never look at her in the eyes the same again.

"Just look at me." She pleaded as her eyes bore into his soul, "Give me at least that much closure. If you want me to leave then I will, just let me show you all you have done to me."

"So which is it going to be, Bones?" Booth's half laden eyes finally made contact with his partner, "Are you going to stay or are you going to go?"


	2. Another Way to Say It's Over

Chapter Two: Another Way to Say It's Over

Slumping forward against the stone cold counter, Brennan couldn't help but let the fresh tears flow. She had tried to be strong for so long she didn't know what this weakness felt like anymore. But one look into his eyes and it was over. All the doubts, all the second chances were laid before her with stunning honesty; an honesty that crushed her heart faster than any bullet could.

His eyes had spoken the truth, their truth, the second she walked through the doorway; but as his icy words ripped through the depths of her soul she knew the love this man once had for life was gone.

He _had_ loved her, at one moment in time and without failure; but that time had passed and all she was left with was regret and the fragments of the man she loved when his heart ran. Running was supposed to be her specialty, the one coping method that had never failed her. But that one choice she had made long ago would be the only thing that killed the one thing she wanted more than life itself.

Sure, he had loved her once upon a time but that was then and now all that was left was heartbreak.

The smile that once could make her heat flutter had long since faded away. Maybe it had lost its way back home, maybe she never had the claim he had promised her among the nights of broken hearts and what could have been, or maybe he had never had a heart to give away. Maybe, just maybe she never deserved it after all.

"I… I'll always love you." The broken woman whispered in vain. She knew it was stupid and maybe a little naïve, yet she knew tonight her heart would do all the talking. There was nothing left to salvage here, nothing left that her rationality would gain.

This was the beginning of the end, the end that all she had held dear. The love that she knew she deserved was bruised and bleeding before her and there was nothing left that could save it now. After all the mistakes and wrong turns her life had taken, she knew this was a death sentence she deserved but the brutal honesty still cut deeper than any knife could.

A truth that would kill her as she forced her eyes upon the man she loved above all else.

"… I… I always knew you were the one and always will." The woman solemnly vowed in a heartbreaking fashion, "If you just give me th-"

"Just go." The once familiar man spat.

"Is that really what you want?" Brennan turned her body toward the epitome of her heartbreak, "After all we have had over the years, all the love we have shared… do you really want me to go without a fight? Do you want me to just walk right out that door without even a goodbye, leaving desires and my heart at the door with my coat? If that is what you want, just say the word but know that wherever you go my heart will follow."

The rawness and vulnerability of her words caught him briefly off guard. Had he really hurt her so bad that she was willing to just give up without a fight? This woman, the love of his life, was willing to just give up with just a single word or a nod of the head. He had never seen her give up on a chance to duel with him but with a slight sigh and shrug he could see the life in her body draining. The failure raddled through her slender frame as their eyes finally met. His love had become her lifeline and without the reassurance only he could provide the world was slowly caving in around her and in that second his heart began to melt against the beauty found in her fragility.

"Damn." Booth subconsciously muttered against the rim of his shot glass, "Damn you, Bones."

"If you want m-" Brennan's eyes narrowed as her rant quickly ceased. "This is what you wanted, Booth. You told me you had to move on. Even after I told you I made a mistake, told you I would repent for all the mistakes I had ever made, all the tears I have ever made you cry… I apologized and tried to make amends but it was never good enough for you. You are killing me. This whole damn childish temper tantrum is fucking ripping me to shreds! Don't you see it!" Brennan barked as she leaned in within millimeters of her partner, "So if this is what you want, you want me to be out of your life; then you be the one to leave. I have done enough running for a lifetime. I am done. It is your turn to man up and make a choice. If you want a life without me then you go." Brennan growled as her forefinger dug into the soft cotton of her partner's t-shirt. As much as this was killing her, it was also liberating to show vulnerability she had long since forgotten. He deserved to see the wreck she had become, even if it was the last thing she would ever do she owed herself that much.

"Shh…" Booth tried to gently soothe but as her finger pierced his skin he knew there was nothing he could say to soothe the savage beast raging within.

This heartbreak was killing her and he was doing nothing to stop it. He was a pig and a bastard, he knew that now. He deserved for her to leave, leaving him lonely and alone. And if pushing her to the brink was what it took to keep her from making a colossal mistake then it was a task he knew he had to take. The man she deserved had died and she didn't deserve who he had become.

"I gave you years of my life, Bones." Booth quietly whispered as his eyes intently fell against the forefinger digging deeper into his blood stained shirt, "For years I waited for you to come to your senses and see what was in front of you and all for what? So you could dump me!"

"You dumped me!" Brennan rasped as she shoved her partner against the counter, "You knew I wasn't ready… you pushed me into a corner without a way out. What was I supposed to do? You gave me no other choice."

"You could have stayed." Booth growled but soon his voice softened as he caught his partner's swinging fists, "You could have let me prove everyone else wrong. Baby steps, Bones, that is all I asked for… baby steps."

"But baby steps would have never been enough." Brennan vowed as her lips slowly pressed against her partner's check, "Never."

And as the shell of a woman who once was slowly slipped through the door and onto the cold streets Booth knew only one truth, eyes lie.


	3. Love's First Farewell

Chapter Three: Love's First Farewell

"Wait… Bones…" The fragile man shouted, but as he watched his partner run down the rain flooded streets he knew admissions wouldn't be enough this time. "Wait... please…" His voice cracked as he slammed his fist against the wooden counter.

And with that she was gone. All they had was gone and only he was to blame.

He knew as soon as the tears began to flow that all was lost. A part of her had died that day among the alcohol and the tears, the part that had held on for a love she knew she deserved. A love that was dead now.

Sure, he had spoken the truth, a truth that had been long since brimming under the surface, but the pain was his cross to bear, not hers. There was no one else to blame but the man staring blankly back at him in the rim of his glass.

"I… I love you." Booth finally admitted with a swirl of the brown liquid that had become his saving grace, "I love you so much it hurts…"

He could barely hear the door creek open in the noisy bar but without even flinching he knew she was there. His body tensed in anticipation of a love only she could provide, a desire only this man and this woman could possess. Yet, he couldn't help but let the emptiness fill his soul, the emptiness of letting the true one fall.

He could feel her seductive eyes drilling into the back of his head, but as he let wave after wave of pain engulf his soul there was no more damage that could be done. For so long he had denied the touch of another, but hell, he was in pain and she had always been his rock. Fuck, tonight he was going to fall back into her trap.

His body tensed as her long, slender fingers cuffed his neck with ease. Her nails dug deep as he let out a grunt of relief. Only she had ever been able to have this effect on him. She was a drug and he was an addict. Night after painful night he would run back to her, broken and beaten but this night would be different. This night would fall onto the choices of another.

"Poor, poor Seeley…" The woman soothed against his clammy skin, "What has she done to you?"

With a grunt and a shrug he could feel her silky hands trail down his tear drenched shirt, but that wouldn't save his soul now.

"What has evil Temperance done to my baby?" The woman seductively whispered as she wrapped her hands tightly against his taunt body.

As her hands began clawing at the thin fabric that kept his body from giving into temptation once more he could tell this was the end. The aroma that once beckoned his call was now not much more than the faint scent of a former lover. He had always known he would fall into the arms of another but as another heart shattered at his hand he knew he would be damned to walk this earth always a step behind.

"Not now, Rebecca." Booth growled, as he slipped from her grasp, "Not now. Not ever again. I'm her's now. You had your chance."

"But Bo-" Rebecca pleaded as the tears began to flow down her peril checks.

"No." Booth's voice shook as he turned to face the woman who he had always ran to "You always knew my heart belonged to her. What we had was special, but I am sick of living a lie Rebecca. I love her… I love her so much it hurts. We have a wonderful son together and I will always be grateful to you for that but my heart was never yours to take."

He could feel the belittlement rip through her core, but who was he to deny a truth that dripped from his every pore?

As his feet beat the rain drenched streets below, he knew exactly where his heart would be found.


	4. Better Sorry Than Safe

Chapter Four: Better Sorry Than Safe

Booth could feel the cold water slush in his shoes with every icy step he took; but after walking the streets of DC for the last three hours a few more drops of water wouldn't hurt. The tears were the ones that were cutting like a knife. As much as he had assured himself over the years that he knew her better than anyone else, these last few hours were proof he barely even knew himself.

He loved her, he had always known that to be true, yet the second his partner disappeared into the moonlit streets he knew that it would take more than a heartfelt apology and a smile to mend all the bridges that had shattered. He had broken the small piece of hope she had left. He had always put her wellbeing before his own but in one split second that had all changed and now all was left was regret and shame.

As he walked back into the dark bar, destroyed and broken, the bitter smell of defeat hit him like a ton of bricks. She had returned, just as he had, but as his eyes slowly narrowed on the shaking figure before him he knew she was missing much more than just the heart he had ripped from her grasp hours before. He had killed every ounce of humanity she had left.

With every step he took he could feel the slight tremble his mere presence had caused. The strong stench of liquor was so overpowering he gasped as he closed the small space between them. He could feel his heart rip to shreds with every second of silence, but this was something he needed to do. He had to face all that he had done, the destruction a few utterances had caused.

"Leave. Me. Alone." Brennan hissed, refusing to even flinch against Booth's outstretched palm.

"But Bones…"

"You lost your chance." The woman growled as she slowly swirled around her stool. "You fucking left me with no other choice, Booth. I gave you my heart just to have you destroy it. I thought we were a family, Booth, not just a fling until that pretty little face walked back into your life."

"Wait…" Booth stepped forward, closing the small space between his partner and himself, "What are you talking about?"

"Her. I saw you with her. The way you look at her while you are with me; how happy you are with her…" Brennan's voice broke as she began to trail off, lost in her own thoughts.

"Who, Bones, who?" Booth's voice cut the dreaded silence, "Damnit Bones, what more do you want from me? It's over with Hannah. She dumped me, kicked me to the curb. I shouldn't have taken it out on you but…"

"No." Brennan growled as she shoved her partner's chest, "No. No. No. I just can't…" Brennan slurred as her world slowly began to fade to black.

"Bones… Bones…" Booth called but as he felt her body go limp in his arms, he knew words would not be enough anymore.


End file.
